Stop crying your heart out
by PARIS BYK
Summary: For all those who hated Miranda's and Brennan's thing in Crossroads of the soul, and especially for mari who requested this... Missing scenes of Crossroads of the soul. Pairing: ShalBren
1. I stayed for a reason

STOP CRYING YOUR HEART OUT  
  
"She represented everything I wanted... but yet... I couldn't take her." That was all in Brennan's thoughts. It had been just 2 days after he returned to Sanctuary. Everyone there supporting him and telling him how important he was for the team and them. Emma herself had offered hundreds of times to talk to him about his feelings, but he rejected her each time. He didn't feel like opening up. All he thought was WHY? Why he left Miranda? Suddenly knocking brought him back to reality. It was Jesse.  
  
"Hey Brennan, we're going out for dinner.. get ready.." Jesse informed as he was gonna leave.  
  
"Thanks but Im staying." He said as cold as ice. He hadn't left the room in days and wasn't feeling like starting either.  
  
"But Brennan, we're all going, just get yourself dressed knock it off!" Jesse said mad. He was angry at his friend for what he had been doing to himself, and Shalimar. Yeah, Jesse could read the pair as an open book.  
  
"Knock it off??? Has he just said that???" Brennan thought. "You know what Jess? Im not in the mood to talk to you right now, so if I were you I'll really leave... like NOW."  
  
"Fine Brennan.." Jesse said pissed. In his way he found Emma all dressed up, Adam next to her, but not Shal.  
  
"Shal is not coming." Emma read his mind.  
  
"oh... and I take that's because..." Jesse stopped. He was pissed indeed, but he was going too far. "Let's just go..."  
  
"Yeah..." Emma agreed as they headed to leave Sanctuary.  
  
(* * *)  
  
Shalimar was eating as she saw Brennan approaching. She peeked at him once, and then went back to her meal. Something told her she wasn't really hungry now. They haven't talked since all the Miranda stuff, and even she wanted to, she had seen him. And that was killing her. The very thought of him kissing Miranda was all she could imagine. Suddenly she realised Brennan was sitting next to her. They ate in silence, not daring to look at each other's eyes as Brennan broke the silence.  
  
"Shal, can you pass me the salt?" He asked, again not meeting her eyes. Shalimar barely moved, she took the salt and left it nearer him. Brennan took it and looked at her. "Is something... wrong?" He dared to ask. He knew what was wrong.  
  
"Something wrong? No, there's nothing wrong Brennan.." Shalimar said as she stood up and headed to the sparring room. Now Brennan could hear her punching the bag so hard that it almoast hurted him the way she was hurting herself. "That's enough." He said and stood up. He went exactly where Shalimar was sparring.  
  
"Hey Shal..." He called for her. Shalimar ignored him as she went on kicking and punching the bag. Brennan approached to her and stopped her from going on. "SHAL!"  
  
"What?" She asked as she hadn't noticed him.  
  
"Shalimar we gotta talk." Brennan said as he softly took her hands im his.  
  
"Sorry Bren, not in the mood.." She said freeing her hands and returning to the punching.  
  
"Shal please... give me a chance to explain you.." He was cut off.  
  
"Explain me? Suddenly you are all talky now... again, I dont wanna hear you right now..." Shalimar snapped at him.  
  
"God she's mad..." Brennan thought as he couldn't help to look deeper in the feral's eyes.  
  
"What are you looking at now? Didn't you hear a word?" She said even madder than before.  
  
"Shal I really have to talk to you... it's important... please." Brennan said so honestly that Shal couldn't keep refusing. She looked at him and thought she was gonna start crying. Shalimar followed Brennan to his room and supported herself against the door. Brennan stood next to her.  
  
"Well?" She asked as she crossed her arms.  
  
"Shal, every since Miranda I have wanted to talk to you..." Brennan started.  
  
"Oh did you? Then why didn't you?" She asked obviously.  
  
"I wasn't sure... of... you know.. us.." He said again. Shalimar was seeing a whole new picture of Brennan, he was vulnerable and talking so openly as they did before Miranda. She had to smiled at that. Those times...  
  
"You're smiling." Brennan indicated.  
  
"No im not..." She answered quickly as she drew a serious face again.  
  
"Shal I want you to know... Im sorry."  
  
"What for? You didn't do anything wrong, did ya?" She said obviously enphatizing the fact that she didn't care what he did, but thing was: she actually cared, a lot.  
  
"For leaving you guys... for being a total jerk.." He added. Shalimar approached to him and looked at his eyes.  
  
"Well apologies accepted.. now... I should get going.." Shalimar was heading towards the door but Brennan stopped her.  
  
"Shal, please... tell me why is that your mad at me? I don't think I will be able to take this anymore..." Brennan said again. Shalimar's heart broke.  
  
"like he doesn't know why Im mad... sometimes he could be such a blind person..."  
  
"Shalimar..." Brennan said to her. She turned and started to cry. "Shal please don't cry on me... tell me what's wrong.."  
  
"Can't believe you don't know..." She said hurted. Brennan approached even more and hughed her. "Brennan don't do this..." She pleaded. Brennan didn't listen. He conforted her and then broke the hugh to look at her more intensively. He placed one hand on her chin and leaned to kiss her. The kiss was extremely pasionated, Brennan had his hands around her waist now as she had placed hers on his hair. Heat was rising as the pair went on kisssing, exploring each other's mouths when Shal suddenly broke appart.  
  
"No.. no I don't want this! What could have happened if you stayed uh? You're just using me 'cause you are missing her!" She said hurted and left quickly.  
  
"Shal!!!" Brennan shouted but she was gone too far by then. He decided she should have a little time to herself as he tried to figure out what just came into him. "It was her... She kept me here... she has always been keeping me here.." Brennan realised. He knew he had feeelings for the feral, he knew that from the first moment he saw her he knew she was something especial, but now it was different. He realised the truth. He realised what he had feared almoast his whole life. Love, need... yeah, he loved her, but worst of all, he needed her with him.  
  
END OF CHAPTER ONE. Author notes: Mari this one is for you luv, I know is kinda short but you wait for chap 2... its gonna be only 2 chapters long, as is kinda a missing scenes fic... tell me if you liked it, and if you didn't too, tell me what should i have done better and stuff... and you all can review too I let ya... Paris BYK 


	2. Night talk

Chapter two: Night Talk  
  
"You know Emm, the only way you're playing with me, its because you always get your ass kicked with Adam..." Jesse said. The molecular and the psyonic were playing chesse. Jesse moved as he rose his head to get a better picture of the one looking at them. It was Brennan. He sat on the couch near enough to hear, far enough not to be part of the scene.  
  
"Hey, how are you doing Bren?" Emma asked as she moved. She never looked at him when asking that, she was too concentrated to seem like she care.  
  
"Im fine Emma." Brennan said at once. Sometimes the psyonic could get really annoying, especially when she felt every emotion in Brennan. She was trying not to, but when feelings were out there like that, she couldn't help to pick them up. Jesse's turn and he moved.  
  
"Well if you need someone to..." Emma started saying but was interrupted by Brennan's overreacted impresion of her.  
  
"I know.. i know.. you're there for me.." He said tryng to sound grateful. He knew all this was killing him, he knew he had hurt Shalimar, and that was even worse, but right then, he didn't feel like adding mad friends to the list. Suddenly Adam entered as he took a look at the elemental, and then at the pair playing chess.  
  
"Having fun?" Adam asked ironicly.  
  
"Why? you got something for us?? a mission maybe?" Emma said desperately. Though she liked chess, that whole staying home thing and doing nothing, didn't match her personality. Brennan on the other hand, wasn't feeling like going in a mission, not after what happened with Shal. He wanted to go right then to her room and tell her how much he loved her, wanted her, but something was stopping him. He had no problems with the team being with them, he always thought that they eventually would find out about his feelings, but Shalimar, that he wasn't sure. She had made herself very clear about how much she cared about him a lot of times, but it was different now, he was willing to confess his feelings, and all he wanted was at least a being loved in return.  
  
"Brennan we're talking to you here!!!!!" Emma snapped at the elemental.  
  
"Ah.. yeah.. what was it?" Brennan asked lost.  
  
"Im going out for a meeting, be back tomorrow, you guys play nice..." Adam informed leaving Sanctuary and taking the Helix with him.  
  
"Well... Im up for some movie maraton... who's with me?" Emma asked and realised Jesse was far too gone, and Brennan was looking everywhere but her. "Brennan???? Jesse???" Emma tried again.  
  
"no... huh uh... sorry Emm but your taste in movies sucks.. and im your friend..." Jesse said with a smile.  
  
"great friends I have..." Emma said half pissed and left the room.  
  
"that wasn't anger was it?" Jesse said looking at Brennan who didn't seem to care at all at the whole situation. He was concentrated in one spot in the wall and wasn't looking somewhere else.  
  
(* * *)  
  
"and what happened with you..?" Shalimar asked passing by Emma's room.  
  
"same question." Emma said looking deeply at the feral.  
  
"dont know what you're talking about..." Shalimar replied as she attempted to leave but Emma's talking forced her to stay.  
  
"C'mon Shal, Im a telempath remember? If there's someone you can't hide your feelings from, that's me." Emma said sured.  
  
"he is using me." Shalimar said sad as she left the room. Emma could fill in the blanks herself as she smiled thinking how dumm her friends were.  
  
(* * *)  
  
It was about 2 am, and Sanctuary was still awake. Jesse was the only one whose snoring was heard all over the place.  
  
"damn.. he should be studied or something... that snoring.. not normal.." Brennan said as he stood up for the 12th time. He searched the room for his shirt but when he realised it was taking too long he quitted the search and left the room shirtless. He walked down the stairs all the way to the kitchen and started looking for something to eat in the fridge. He grabbed an apple and turned just to see Shal standing in front of him.  
  
"Shal... what are you doing up this late?" He asked not realising she wasn't supposed to even answer him with what had happened the day before.  
  
"could ask you the same question, now are you done with the fridge?" She asked in such an angry tone that Brennan let her pass. Shalimar grabbed a bottle of water and drank it in front of him, sitting then and watching him up and down. Brennan noticed the watching thing and couldn't help to smile a bit, he sat too.  
  
"Shal..." He started. He had everything cleared now, he felt like had always had them cleared, but never opened his eyes wide enough to see them that clear.  
  
"what do you want?" She asked as angry as before.  
  
"why are you so angry Shalimar???? 'cause I told you how I felt? If you want me to understand you, you gotta help me out a little here.." Brennan said leaving the apple aside and focusing just on the woman in front of him.  
  
"that's the thing Brennan, I DON'T WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND ME. At all." She got up and started leaving but Brennan followed her closely as they walked up the stairs.  
  
"Shal, you can't reject me forever, you'll have to talk to me, eventually." Brennan said still following her. Shalimar was hurrying and Brennan did so too as she stood up abruptely.  
  
"you're right. I can't. But this is where you stop." She said entering her room. Brennan wanted to follow her in but he wasn't gonna unless she let him. So he turned and started heading to his own room.  
  
(* * *)  
  
"damn! Just... stop being here!" Shalimar said to the air as she hit one pillow. She looked at the ceiling and then at the floor, and then at her sorroundings. It was dark but she could see everything as clear as water, half having to do with her feral DNA, the other half just her.  
  
"if you love him just go and tell him damnit!!!!" Shalimar heard Emma's voice. The telempath was really annoying lately.  
  
"Emma I'd really apprecciate if you stop listening private conversations from now on..." Shalimar said calmly.  
  
"I DIDN'T!!!" Emma defended herself. "you're practically screaming your feelings out!!! I can't even sleep with you and Brennan's thing here.. some people try her whole life out to find love, and you two have it right there but yet you're not taking it!"  
  
"Emma... just, if you're in a bad mood..." Shalimar started.  
  
"IM NOT! IM JUST BEING HONEST! OTHER'S LIKE JESSE PREFER TO IGNORE THINGS, ME, TELEMPATH HERE, WANTS YOU TWO TO JUST DEAL WITH IT! HE STAYED BECAUSE OF YOU! NOT MIRANDA, NOT ANYONE. YOU SHALIMAR, JUST... You.." Emma said soflty the last word. "question here is: are you willing to tell him you love him back?"  
  
"That's not of your damn business Emma!" Shalimar snapped at her. she was angry at the psyonic now.  
  
"whatever." Emma said closing her eyes and trying to catch her sleep again.  
  
"he didn't... he didn't stay because of me... he stayed cause he had no other option..." Shalimar convinced herself as she tried to sleep.  
  
(* * *)  
  
Brennan was lying in his bed, eyes opened and staring at the ceiling. He suddenly heard a knocking on his door. He lazily got up and opened the door. His eyes couldn't believe what he saw.  
  
"Shalimar..." He said opening the door for her.  
  
"I... I hope I didn't wake you.." She said shily. Brennan shook his head no and sat on the edge of his bed.  
  
"I figure you came here to talk... finally.." Brennan said as he watched her expressions.  
  
"yeah.. I.. we can't go on like this Bren.. there's something I want you to know and I can't keep it anymore so.." Shalimar didn't finish. She wanted to, but she was really nervous. She didn't know what he could answer back, and that was terrifyng her.  
  
"Well im listening Shal.." He alented her to go on.  
  
"I.. I don't know what to do with you... I.." Brennan stood up quickly and approached her. Shalimar was confused, she wanted to know what he was going to try, cause at that time she felt like she could melt in his arms.  
  
"well I know what to do with you..." Brennan replied as she kissed her softly and looked at her. "I love you Shalimar, just you, not Miranda, not Lorna, not Ashley not, no one. Just you. Shalimar Fox." Brennan said pausing in each word for her to understand it.  
  
"so... you weren't going to stay there... even if..." Shalimar asked him.  
  
"You brought me here Shal. If im here, its for you and just for you. I want you to understand, that im in love with you, I've always been." He said again.  
  
"good to know." She said kissing him deeply. Brennan slammed her against the wall as they both started to kiss even more passionate and heated than before. Then Shalimar broke appart and kissed his ear as she softly pronounced:  
  
"by the way... I love you too." She said turning to the door.  
  
"wait, where are you going?" He asked confused.  
  
"look your watch Bren... it's just 3 o clock.. i'll be seeing YOU in the morning.." She said as she left smiling.  
  
"that was mean Shalimar... really mean.." Brennan said with a smile himself. "tomorrow morning..."  
  
THE END  
  
Author notes: Hey guys, well this request its done, Mari, I gotta tell you luv, I wanted to add more scenes aand stuff but then I rememeber it was just a missing scenes fic so I hold myself. Besides I thought this pretty much summarizes everything you and I wanted to happen. Hoped you like it, and if you want something else, another one, anything, feel free to ask me, and so do you guys... I write requests so you e mail me and I'll be glad to write them... well review ppl...  
  
Paris BYK 


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